I have been so grateful for all the kindness and support of everyone who read along as we navigated a horrible diagnosis, faced treatment options that were, shall I say, less than fun, and went to the ER too many times. I distinctly remember standing in an ER bay in the middle of the night and seeing a guestbook comment from a friend in Australia telling me that we weren't alone and she was holding our hands, even from far away. In the months since Charlie died, I was able to share some of my most precious memories and my most raw feelings with people who cared enough to read them.
Being able to write about what was happening and how I was feeling was a pure gift. I don't know if another journal or blog can come close to being such a gift to me, and I don't even know if I have anything left to say that is worth reading, but I do know that the only thing people can do when the unthinkable happens is the next thing, whatever that is. For now, the next thing for me is to at least claim a little real estate online where I can write when I feel the need.
So, on this day, the one year anniversary of the worst news I have ever personally heard, I am launching this blog. We'll see how it goes.
No matter what, today will be a better day than one year ago today. Except he isn't here.
Love,
Jen
Keep writing! We're reading! Love you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy. I love you too!
DeleteDear Jen:
ReplyDeleteI applaud your new entry into the blogosphere. I also love the "holding hand" image from Australia. On Sunday, the Baptism of the Lord, the first reading tells us that God has "grasped you by the hand." (Isaiah 42:6). Francis de Sales tell us to "Imitate little children who with one hand hold fast to their father [or mother] while with the other they gather strawberries or blackberries from the hedges. So too if you gather and handle the good of this world with one hand, you must always hold fast with the other to your heavenly Father's [or Mother's] hand and turn toward God from time to time to see if your actions or occupations are pleasing." I would adapt this, hold fast to God's hand, sometimes, and to Charlie's at others, and to both, then whether you are handling the good or the "sucky" of life, you will know that you are not alone. And please remember, many of us are reaching our hands out to you every day and out to God on your behalf every day, too.
With love and hope,
Paul Colloton, OSFS
Thank you, Paul, as always, for your wisdom and your care.
DeleteJen - From the start, you have been able to pen words in a way, that made me feel like a fly on the wall to your marriage, love and the long goodbye with Charlie. I have told you before, you are my hero for your strength and grace. You will continue to be my hero, and I am glad that I am your friend. I have known you as a writer for over 25 years, and I will continue to read your words. You are Loved my darling!
ReplyDelete